Restless Nights
by 8ron
Summary: Lavellan has trouble sleeping, and she's pretty sure the Commander dozing at her back is the reason why. (Cover image is by cccrystalclear on tumblr. You should totally check out her blog: cccrystalclear.tumblr. (com)


It would be time to get up any minute now, and Gwen still hadn't managed to fall asleep. The most frustrating part was her lack of why. A whole night of contemplation and she still wasn't sure what the problem was. The lack of roots jabbing into her back, the softness of her pillow, or the impossibly hot man pressing against her back?

She wiggled further against him, feeling every hard curve and resting muscle pressing against her, from her shoulders to her ankles. His breath tickle the top of her neck, snoring lightly as he slept. Yes, Cullen was definitely part of the problem, but he was the only factor she was unwilling to change.

Though daydreaming was counter-productive to her immediate goal, Gwen began to concentrate on the feel of Cullen spooning behind her anyway. From the way the hair on his legs tickled her calves, softer than she would have imagined. Up to the slight erection pressing against her cheeks, growing harder the more she fidgeted. Next, to his arms, one under her neck and acting as a generous pillow, the other draped across her waist and holding her tummy, keeping her in place by his side, almost possessively so. It felt nice, being slotted in place, as if they were two parts of a puzzle.

Being awake had its advantages, she mused, and every now and then he would murmur in his sleep, the words rumbling against her hair in deep grumbles. Little snippets from his dreams. 'More sugar. No, not my trebuchets. Wait. Hold still.' At one point in the night Gwen was sure she'd heard her own name tumble from his lips, whispered by her ear like he did when they were awake and wondrously alone. She knew the notes well, enough to make them sing in her mind. She wondered faintly if that was what it had been, a manifestation from her imagination simply because she wanted him to dream about her. As if sleeping together wasn't good enough

They didn't share a bed often. Maybe that was why she couldn't sleep. After all, the situation itself had not come about as naturally as she'd planned. Despite the rapid pace of their growing relationship, the pair had not moved past secret kisses and the occasional grinding.

She recalled the first time they'd spent the night together with less fondness than she liked. He'd come to see her in her tent, the night before they would lay siege on Adament Fortress. The Dalish hadn't been involved in a large scale battle for years, and never her. She'd been nervous, scared. Terrified of what was expected of her. 'How can I lead them all to their deaths when I don't know what I'm doing?' He'd only come to give her a final report, or so he'd claimed, now she wasn't quite sure. Despite his reasons for meeting her in the dead of night, Cullen had stayed, reassured her with gentle words and harder kisses. Then he'd spent the night on her bedroll, holding her tightly as neither one slept. Fear overwhelming their desire, and any pleasure she could have gained from the intimate situation, with a sinister ease.

Her nose wrinkled, and she rolled onto her back. Cullen immediately accommodated her movement in his sleep, hand shifting under her neck, body rolling closer until he was practically leaning against her side. Gwen remained awake, staring at the large canopy above, elven eyes just able to make out the slab of wooden beams in the dark. She started to count them.

She could barely remember the second time they'd shared a bed, unfortunately. Even concentrating now, with no distractions except for her gently snoring companion and the stubborn weariness that made her eyes itch. She could only recall random snippets. Though at least major death hadn't been the initiator that second time. No, she could claim that role herself. Stumbling into his office, drunk. 'The Inner Circle are celebrating!' She remembered telling him, explaining with slurred words and wobbly grins how they had managed to kill a high dragon, with only a few major burns here and there.

Cullen had been less than amused. She could remember that. Not so much for her lucid state, but rather that her vivid details of the reptilian beast did little to sooth his nerves, and maker's breathe was she _trying_ to give him a heart attack?

Gwen had awoken the next day in his bed, complete with a splitting headache and no recollection of how she'd gotten there. Her tongue had tasted like vomit, her stomach had churned as she'd rolled over, and then she'd realised that she wasn't alone. Catching the sight of Cullen's back, sleeping somewhat stiffly on the other side of the bed. They'd both been fully clothed, and he'd perched himself on the very edge, as if he was the one intruding her personal space rather than the other way around. Gwen had felt like a bother more than anything else, and had avoided eye contact with him for the rest of the day; until Cullen had cornered her for a kiss.

No. That hadn't been perfect at all. Though after the drunk incident things had gotten considerably easier. Maybe after sharing a late supper, or if they left the tavern together slightly inebriated, or - sometimes - merely because she would be leaving Skyhold the next morning, _then_ Cullen would spend the night with her. With never more than an innocent hug and a few less-innocent kisses being involved. He always stopped before their kisses grew too heated. Shied away as soon as she'd started feeling hot and bothered. Leaving them to fall asleep fully dressed and with her innocence still somewhat intact. It might have been worrying, had she not known, without a shadow of a doubt, that he wanted her. The erection pressed against her spine afterwards was enough indication, along with his heavy breathing at the nape of her neck, and the tantalizing way his hands continued to explore her, inching up her thigh until he groaned almost painfully and forced himself to stop.

She grinned, abandoning her counting and turning her head to one side. It brought their faces extremely close. Close enough that she merely had to pucker her lips and Gwen would be able to kiss his nose.

She didn't. Instead she merely watched, studying the shapes of his face, noting the deep set eyes, still closed and blissfully unaware that she was staring.

Her fingers had started to trail, stroking little love hearts on the back of his hand, trying to put the shape of it to memory. Gwen stared at the ceiling once again, the minutes ticked on, and she sighed at the lack of sleep she was achieving. How long until it was time to get up? Cullen tended to wake up before her, clearly a morning person.

At least, this time they'd shared a bed had been almost perfect. There had been no clear reason for him to stay in her room tonight. No impeding disaster or glass of wine to make it seem like a happy mistake. Instead, Gwen had finally worked up her confidence and asked him, point blank, if he'd like to stay the night. Cullen had blushed scarlet immediately, just like she'd known he would, spluttering behind his reports and staring at his shoes for answers. But the man had said yes – eventually - and they'd awkwardly gotten ready for bed as a team, avoiding eye contact while they stripped to their small clothes and blew out the candles. The exchange had left her uncomfortable, but once under the duvet they'd talked easy enough, limbs entangled as they chatted about nothing and anything before he'd drifted off.

Doing this out of the blue made her hopeful it would become a regular thing. Their relationship was still hard to define, and Gwen wasn't sure what Cullen wanted. But she wanted this, his comfort, his companionship. Surely he wanted the same?

It was just a shame she couldn't sleep. The lack of was maddening, and she'd had a better night's rest at camp.

Of course! Realisation hit her with a new wave of unneeded energy, and Gwen finally understood the reason behind her temporary insomnia. Warm beds and soft mattresses had been nothing but fairy tales back with Clan Lavellan. She'd grown up sleeping on nature's beds of leafs and twigs. And even now spent most of her time on the road. Sharing cramped little tents with either a kicking Cassandra or a snoring Vivienne (who never admitted to it). To put it simply, the mattress was too soft, and it would take her another week in Skyhold to get use to it again, as was the case whenever she returned.

Gwen twisted her upper torso and leaned up, staring at the floor with a new found longing. Cullen grunted by her waist, warm and still blissfully asleep. It seemed she had two options: stay snuggled to his side and fall asleep at their war meeting that morning, or find a few precious moments of rest on the floor while he remained none the wiser.

Well, when she put it like that...

Carefully, Gwen slipped from his gentle embrace, sliding off the bed and taking one of the blankets with her. Cullen immediately spread out, sprawling onto his stomach and stretching his limbs. He looked so peaceful, lips curved as if hugging some pleasant memory close, hair now curly and framing his face in tight, messy ringlets.

Settling down onto the floor, Gwen decided she would join him again before he woke. She'd just get an hour of sleep, just one hour, and then she could get back to his side in time to enjoy the little kisses he usually woke her up to.

She yawned, immediately more comfortable on the hard surface, eyes drooping close.

* * *

Just one hour.

Gwen awoke to the gentle rustle of the blanket and with warm lips pressing to her ear.

"Why are you on the floor?" He whispered, words hot on her cheek.

She could only groan in response, still half asleep despite her growing embarrassment at being caught. "Hnnnggmm."

"I see," Cullen chuckled, a low rumbling that started a tingling between her thighs. His hand had settled on her jaw, and he tilted her head in order to peck gentle kisses up her neck, behind her ear, across her cheek bone, along her vallaslin."Did I take all the space? I can return to my own quarters if you prefer."

"No!" That woke her up, and Gwen rolled onto her back to catch his eye, holding her breath at his bed mussed appearance. Creators, he was stunning. "I just... the bed was too soft."

His cocked an eyebrow, clearly not believing her, but started to settle down in any case. "But it's _your_ bed. Surely you're used to it by now?"

"No. Well yes. But I have to get _re-used_ to it whenever I'm back. I spend more nights sleeping on rocks than I do on mattresses."

He contemplated that for a few heartbeats, regarding her fondly, before shrugging a shoulder and seeming to accept her odd behaviour. "Okay." Cullen leaned down, kissing her one last time on the edge of her mouth before settling them back into their earlier position as if nothing had changed, on their sides, him pressing to her back, arms wrapped around her middle.

"You don't have to sleep on the floor with me. It'll be uncomfortable," she said, cheeks a flaming red, silently hoping he'd stay.

"I don't mind." Cullen already sounded half asleep, and Gwen suspected the vexing man was an expert at drifting off in uncomfortable places. You had to when you were a solider, naps were never a guarantee.

She felt selfish thinking it, but it _was_ more comfortable now that Cullen had joined her, keeping her warm under the thin blanket they shared between them, both too lazy to grab the large feather duvet left abandoned on the bed. She sighed, content and starting to drift off once more.

"Hm," Cullen grunted a few moments later, she hadn't realised he was still awake. "My mattress is harder. We can sleep in my room next time."

Gwen grinned against the arm she was using as a pillow.

Next time.


End file.
